Shower, Shit, Shave, & Shine?

There’s something extremely insulting about being asked if you've showered. It is particularly offensive to moms because we probably haven’t. We give up a lot. We make hard choices: I have ten minutes. Should I go to the bathroom, eat, or shower? Most of the time, even if we throw in another, less vital, option like playing Angry Birds or browsing Pinterest, showering comes in dead last.

Public service announcement #1

It is comforting that you understand how stressed-out, freaked-out, and put-out moms are. It’s ever so sweet that you are offering to watch the kids so we can take a shower. But, please, don’t ask us if we’ve showered—even if we smell. Offer to watch the kids for “whatever we need” and then we will tell you that we are dying to scrub the four-day scum off. If we’re lucky, we can even shave our legs or braid the hair and put pretty ribbons in it. Either way, let us bring up the necessity of bathing. I know it doesn’t sound much less mortifying, but, trust me, it is.