Are You Kidding Me?!

Are You Kidding Me?!

Monday, September 16, 2013

How to Plan Your Child’s Birthday Party When Your Pet is Dying

What do you do when it's your child's birthday and you are at the veterinarian’s office and emergency room every other day with your pet who is dying?

Here. Let me "help" you: 

“5 Tips to Plan a Party While Your Pet is Dying”
1. Keep your chin up!
Plaster a smile on your face and keep it there! Don’t let anyone (especially the children!) see you with anything less than a super shiny smile.

2. Find a private place to let those little feelings out!

If you feel the need to cry, politely excuse yourself from the festivities and cry quietly (silently, if possible) in a bathroom far away from your guests. Don’t forget to keep that door closed!

3. Keep that makeup handy!
Should you need tip number 2, don’t forget the important step of reapplying the foundation around your eyes! And, please, make sure you reapply a little to your cheeks, as well--people always seem to forget that. (This goes without saying, but it’s best to stay away from mascara altogether. Am I right, gals?!)

4. Procrastinate and stay up late!
If you put off wrapping, decorating, planning the menu, and ordering the cake because you’re so distraught about your beloved pet, you’ll be forced to stay up really late to wrap gifts, set up, cook, and send emails. The next day, you’ll be so tired, you probably won’t have the energy to worry OR cry! Killing two birds with one stone! (Maybe that’s a bad analogy, considering.) So, anyhoo, you can go ahead and ignore tips number 1 and 2. Way to go, you!

5. Plan a party at home!
While I don't advocate breaking promises (especially to children!), I have to give a little here. Since you must be there every second to help your sweet pet and make sure they eat, you can’t very well take your child to the amusement park, zoo, or aquarium all day like you promised now can you? Well…resolve to do that fun, fun, FUN day another time and plan a lovely party right at home so you can see your beautiful child blow out the candles AND watch your pet suffer! Another 2 for 1 deal! How splendid!

Sometimes "6 ways to..." and "10 tips to..." should stay hidden on a computer. Sometimes tips and tricks and perky, positive attitudes aren't what people need. We need to be angry, sad, and overwhelmed. We need to be allowed to do that without feeling like we've failed in some way. And so I will say this:

Sometimes life sucks.