I Told You So!

Misbehaving kid. Shocker. Knocking stuff all over the floor, parent not doing anything. Shocker. Finally an associate working at the store comes over to the kid and tells him to stop doing that. Please.

The parent actually says—are you ready for this? The parent says, “Thank you. Thank you SO much.” I think my mouth is hanging open at this point.

Okay so the mom is polite, I guess, thanking the store clerk and all but she is thanking him for disciplining her child. Something she has not been doing. She didn’t yell at the clerk, didn’t say anything rude, but… I’m not sure what to make of this exchange. She thanked a stranger for telling her child not to act like an ass. Apparently, this is something she is incapable of doing.

Another kid. Misbehaving. Knocking stuff all over the floor. Parent looks around and says in a sing-song voice “You’d better sto-op…” but doesn’t do anything.

Again. Associate comes over to the kid and tells her to stop.

This time, the parent says “See? I told you you were gonna get in trouble. You got in trouble.”

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is this a “Nah-ner-nah-ner-nah-nah!” from a parent to her child?

Yah, my mommy never says 'no' she just says 'I told you so'...

Cavemom

After reading an article on Matt Walsh's blog, I realized something pretty cool: I am not alone. There ARE other parents out there who discipline their kids. In his post, he talks about seeing a mom at the grocery store who had a screaming little boy with her. The boy's meltdown was because the mom said her son couldn't have some silly sugared cereal. He freaked out but she did not give in. She did not buy the cereal. Then her child knocked a display over and she *gasp* made the kid pick it up. This mom is made of awesome. See, here, in my neck of the woods, all my parent friends (and quite a few parents I run into at soccer practices, stores, etc.) cave to their kids. I’m not sure what all my non-parent friends think. I know some of them love that I discipline my kids. It’s always the "parent friends" who look at me quizzically or say outright how awful I am to my kids. Whatever.

I love the mom in this article. No way would I let someone help my little shit who knocked something over in a rage. I’d be super sweet and genuinely thankful if someone offered to help but that stuff is on the floor because of my kid and my kid will be the one picking it up—even if takes an hour and the frozen peas defrost.

And no screaming kid of mine would ever get a toy, treat, or anything but a “mommy glare”. Sometimes they would even earn a whispered threat of some sort which is much cooler (for me) and scarier (for them). It’s so fun. Something as simple as “Knock it off.” Or “Enough.” Or “I. Said. Stop.” whispered softly wicked close to your kid is scary and hilarious. You should try it.

Besides getting giggles and warm fuzzies from the whispering thing, you get kids who actually (eventually) stop doing these things. Most of the time. They know that when they have a major meltdown, they will not get what they want. Some kids take longer to learn this than others but stick with it. They’ll get it. If your kids ask and you say “No” then they cry and you cave and give them what they asked for, well… Hey, I’d cry, too. It works.  

The only downside is, if you’re not the cave mom, then you get to be the mean mom who everyone says is a bitch. But that’s okay. Because there will be that moment when you hear those words: “I wish my kids would behave as well as yours.” And there it is. Although, really, I didn’t do it for you. I didn’t do it for your approval. I did it for me. I did it for my kids.

Seriously, don’t cave. Be the mom in this article. You’ll be a happier person for it. So will your kids.

Once More, With Feeling *

I was at the pool today by myself. It was bliss. However, it was also crowded…tons of kids, a few parents. I braced myself for mayhem but was oh-so-pleasantly surprised when I heard parenting going on. “Kyle, don’t jump in so close to your sister.” And “Tyler, be careful, there are babies in the pool.” “Don’t run.” “No hitting.” And so forth. I jumped up from my chair, threw my arms in the air, gyrated a little, and yelled across the pool, “Go Mommy! Go Mommy!” 

Okay, so that’s what I wanted to do as I lay in the sun and grinned like an idiot singing quietly in my head “Go mommy, go mommy.” I was so excited by this that I called my husband on the cell to tell him there were actual parents here. Yay for parents everywhere!

This one mom in particular said the following, and I quote, “If you do that one more time, I’ll take your float away.” He did it again, and she took the float. My heart swelled with pride. Then the most horrific thing happened. He whined. He said he wouldn’t do it again and she gave him back the float. Do you know, can you guess, what happened next? He did it again. She threatened to take the float away if he did it “one more time”. He did. She took. He whined. He got his float. This happened three more times. Oh, won’t somebody please think of the children! The mommy I was so proud of just ten minutes before crumbled and turned into a sticky pile of chlorinated crumbs. She then threatened to take him out of the pool if he did this blasted thing just “one more time” and he did. But in the pool he stayed. 

I hate this style of parenting more than the parents who allow their rascally rugrats to run amuck; the kids who have no rules to go by, have no rules to break. It’s a black and white world for them and they’re annoying as hell. But the parents of the let’s-be-super-nice-to-Johnny-and-Sue-lest-they-become-unhappy mindset are creating kids far worse than the aforementioned rascals running amuck—they are creating spoiled brats. The rascals will eventually encounter someone who will tell them to do something and those kids will either do it or they won’t. The spoiled brats are the ones who will try to negotiate because, after all, everything is negotiable, and no one is seriously telling them to do anything. 

As I slipped on my flip-flops, walked through the gate and away from the pool, I heard mom say, “No splashing, Kyle!” What do you think Kyle did then?

            

*Thanks, Joss.