Writer Unplugged: Why I Didn't Delete My Blog

I’ve been beating myself up wondering whether I should delete my blog. Frankly, I’ve been contemplating deleting my Facebook (which has this side of 10 likes and I rarely use) and my Twitter account (which is relatively new and I don’t have the hang of yet). I know having an online presence, platform, brand, whatever has become essential but at what cost?

Last weekend, I realized I hadn’t written anything but a tweet since I’d opened my Twitter account. Not a word. Except my blog. But, see, I’m not a “blogger”. I have a blog but I’m not a blogger. I do not help people with my expertise, entertain people with my comedic essays, or interact with people about controversial subjects. The bloggers I’ve seen online edit and hone their often lengthy posts on their gorgeous background of a blog. They network and are part of a blogging community. They are artists. I just write.

I thought, “What's the point? Get rid of it.”

After reading this post by Cat Lumb about having a first draft become the thing you like best of all and keep instead of the subsequent edits, I realized why I love my blog so much and couldn’t delete it. I commented on her post that “first drafts have an amazing combination of raw emotion and the writer’s real voice. Which [is what] I want to read. And hear.” There it is. My blog is always a first draft. Maybe because I write it for fun, maybe because I know no one is reading it…I type and post. Done. It’s freeing, in a way, to be able to dance like no one is watching. I type like no one is reading. (Which is true, but whatever.)

I love writing my blog. No one reads my posts, as I am sure no one will read this one, but at least I am writing. You're supposed to have a target audience (I'm well aware of this as a teacher) but I don't. My blog is more of an online journal than a pro blog. Thing is, I want to write. I need to write. So I write—about my life, my kids, anything. It feels good and it keeps me on a schedule to make sure I keep writing.

And, because I just type whatever is on my mind then post it, it is me. This is me. Writer unplugged.

A Day of Green…That’s All

I never really celebrated St. Patrick's Day.

I remember wearing green to school when I was little. My mom would sometimes put my hair up in two, long blonde pigtails and tie green ribbons around them. Other than that, I don't think I did anything out of the ordinary on that day. Although...I seem to vaguely remember a green Care Bear with a shamrock on his tummy that I paid special attention to that day. Maybe I brought him to school? I also could be making that up or confusing it with another popular 80s toy that was green and had a shamrock somewhere on it.

I also thought Leprechauns were neat. Little magical people with rainbows and gold? What's not to like? I colored my share of them with green jackets and tiny black top hats.

Oh, yes, and the school cafeteria handed out our milk cartons (which looked normal) with no indication that, when you finally got the damn thing ripped open, the sloshing liquid inside was a putrid pea color. It tasted like milk but, honestly, gross.

That must have been the precursor to the green beer I was always served on St. Patrick's Day if I was stupid enough to join the mob of if-I-drink-enough-maybe-my-puke-will-be-green guests visiting the bars every March 17.

Green beer...yummy.

This is a decidedly Christian holiday celebrating, um, what’s his name. That saint. But, like many holidays, it has long since been celebrated as a secular feast and drink-fest. So, regardless of your religion, on March 17, everyone is Irish, wears green, and loves beer.

Kids cut out shamrocks and wear green. Adults drink beer and wear green. And, well, that’s kind of it.    

Melodious Morning

Conversations with my 7-year-old.

At breakfast this morning, my little one says, “I love that the birds are singing to us every morning again.”

I listen for a minute. Huh. There they are. “It is nice,” I agree. Why does my child have to notice the little things in life like that for me? I’m not doing anything—I should be in the moment. I’m not. Kids are so great for bringing you back to reality. Sometimes even in a good way.  

I just sip my coffee and listen to them chirp. “Wait until spring is here in a few weeks…”

“One week. Plus three days.”

“Yes,” I say. “One week. Then…”

“Plus three days,” he corrects.

“Yes,” I say again, “that’s the equinox. Spring. Right. Anyway, the birds will be chirping and singing and sounding so, um…”

“Melodious. They’ll sound melodious.”

Yes, my beautiful little boy, that’s exactly the word I was going to use before I finished my coffee this morning. Definitely not “good” or anything.